The truth about wake windows and 4 signs they might not be working for you
As a parent, it is likely you have been bombarded with sleep information and collected as much as you can, wanting to do your very best and avoid that dreaded sleep deprivation, which we all know can be so hard!
One of those bits of information you have probably picked up is wake windows. Wake windows are an idea that a baby has to and can only be awake for a set amount of time based on it’s current age. I have a few issues with wake windows, so let’s unpack these first.
Wake windows aren’t evidence-based, they are too hard to research because they vary so much across babies of the same age and there are too many variables that come into a baby being awake and getting tired. This is why I personally stay away from discussing hard and fast wake windows. It is also why from one sleep expert to the next they often have varying ideal “wake window timings” which can be really confusing for parents. Wake windows have been made up based on observations about how long babies of a certain age stay awake for, the problem with them is they are sold as if they are the “be all end all”, but actually (as I mention above) “wake windows” can be incredibly variable across babies of the same age. This variability can get parents into trouble, I will discuss 4 ways to assess if wake windows are causing you problems below.
Some babies fit into generic wake windows, but there are actually a lot of babies out there who don’t fit into generic wake window timings, parents who are using generic wake windows but have babies that don’t necessarily fit with those wake windows may be finding sleep harder than necessary!
My issue with wake windows is not that they “do or don’t work”, my issue is that in the sleep training culture, they are talked about as if every baby should adhere to these strict time limits, and as always, I am here to remind you that it’s okay if your baby doesn’t fit into this mold. Not all babies fit into the strict sleep training parameters. While some do, and that’s great, some don’t, and it’s helpful for parents to have the knowledge and confidence to explore what wake durations suit their unique baby.
What is more useful for parents than “wake windows”, is the knowledge and understanding of how to read their baby’s communication cues which change and evolve as the baby gets older. This means as the baby gets older wake durations will naturally lengthen as you are able to follow your baby’s lead on when they actually need sleep.
4 signs that generic wake windows might not be working well for you and your baby:
Your baby doesn’t sleep for long stretches ever. Now some babies are cat nappers, and despite the wake duration timing they will always cat nap (cat naps are NOT bad, but I will unpack that in another blog) BUT sometimes cat naps can be a symptom of not having enough sleep pressure built up before the nap to help them stay asleep. This is a sign of not enough time spent awake so the wake window is too short.
Wake windows are too short and you are having wakeful nights. As per above, sometimes other things cause wakeful nights, like a big development leap, sickness, teething, separation anxiety, hunger, and the list goes on BUT sometimes wakeful nights are a symptom of not having enough sleep pressure built up to align with circadian rhythm at the end of the day, when this happens, you can get more wakes than necessary. Please keep in mind night wakes are biologically normal, babies wake as a survival mechanism to protect themselves, (more on that another day) but provided they are sustainable for the parent then night waking is okay. With that said, if night waking is excessive or a parent is having difficulty with the night waking then getting support is a great option.
Wake durations are too short and your baby is resisting naps big time, they aren’t ready to go to sleep when it is time for their nap. This can be termed under-tired and from my experience in working with families, this can be VERY common.
If wake windows are too long, your baby could be really upset and dysregulated, essentially in fight and flight mode and genuinely hard to settle. This can be a sign of overtiredness (this is a blog for another day). From working with families, parents are terrified of overtiredness, so it is rare that I actually come across babies who are actually “overtired”.
In summary, I would encourage all parents to use wake windows as loose guidance. We can play around with wake durations and figure out what works uniquely for your baby, sometimes starting from age based wake windows is helpful.
Keep in mind wake durations should be tested as baby gets older, especially in those early days because overall sleep needs can drop a lot from newborn to 6 months of age!
I hope you found this helpful, let me know if you have any questions.